


the building waves of stars

by stationlittle



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-11 06:06:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13518123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stationlittle/pseuds/stationlittle
Summary: Shepard tries to bake cookies for Kasumi. She fails. Spectacularly.





	the building waves of stars

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Dustierhoades. I asked for a pairing and a prompt and got FShep/Kasumi and burnt cookies. So this is the result. And Dustie : I love you, you are extraordinary and I'm LUCKY to know you. Thank you for being one of my best friends in the world :)
> 
> Title from the poem Night Song by Lola Haskins.  
> Betareading by Bard! Thank you Bard <3

She went to the bridge to present Joker the batch of cookies (looking quite black and definitely not smelling like ordinary cookies are supposed to smell). She asked him to taste them for her.

He had readily agreed before seeing or smelling them (his precise reaction: "Yay, cookies!"). Now he kept making noises as if the cookies were delicious and he couldn't wait to finish the batch. Shepard would have been amused by his poor acting if she wasn't so desperate.

"I don't need your pity," she finally told him.

The effect was immediate: he stopped eating and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Oh thank God. Shepard, those suck."

Shepard actually whined in answer. The situation was that dire. "I knooooow."

"No really. They suck pretty hard. How long did you cook them?" Joker asked her.

She felt like banging her head against the wall.

"I don't know, okay? I was just doing them as the recipe said but then EDI alerted me to something-"

"That's my girlfriend. Interrupting important cooking time."

"It was for something important as well, Jeff," EDI intervened.

"Thank you for calling my ruined cooking time important, guys. I feel the love in this bridge."

"There, there."

Joker actually tried to pat her. She sent him a glare. He stopped, but not without giving her a grin.

"ANYWAY," she said. "By the time I went back to them, the cookies were-"

"Disgusting. Impossible to eat. An utter disaster," he finished for her.

"There it is," she said, moving her hands in front of her like she was waiting for more and ready for it. "Lay it all on me. I deserve it."

"But why are you doing this?" Joker asked instead.

"Because she always brings me stuff and I want to thank her!"

"She?" She saw the moment he understood who she was talking about and tried not to blush. "Oh you mean Kasumi. She steals, Shepard. She steals for you. Stealing as in-"

"I swear to God if you start giving me the definition of stealing-"

"I do not think Ms. Goto expects anything in return, Shepard," EDI said.

"I know! But that's the greatest thing, you see, because when you don't expect anything, you can be pleasantly surprised!"

"Not by these, she won't be," Joker said while pointing at the cookies.

Shepard sighed. Again.

"What should I do?"

She stared at her cookies. They looked pathetic, especially the lumps showing where she hadn't mixed the ingredients properly. Joker gave a her look. The one that said "you already know what to do."

"Toss them because they're trash, okay," she replied, more to herself than Joker.

There was a garbage can conveniently placed near Joker's seat. She could already see a pile of garbage inside. She side-eyed Joker, who gave her his most innocent look in return.

"Those haven't been there since we came back to the ship, right?"

"Sure," he said, but she wasn't convinced.

She shook her head. She was about to throw the batch of cookies into the garbage can when someone put their hand on hers, making her freeze.

"Don't you dare."

A whisper. Shepard recognized Kasumi immediately. She held on to the box of cookies.

"Are you changing your mind?" Joker asked, raising his eyebrows at her.

EDI looked at her but said nothing. She must have detected Kasumi.

"You know what? I'm going to space them. Later, I mean, when we leave the Citadel."

Joker seemed to consider the idea before giving her a thumbs up.

"Final solution," he said. "Hardcore. I like it."

She gave him a nervous smile. "Right. That's me. I'm all about final solutions. Okay, bye."

She left the bridge like it was on fire, holding her box tightly in her hands. She arrived in her quarters and knew Kasumi had followed her.

The ship was only getting ready to leave in a few hours so there was time. Still, it was unusual for Kasumi to linger around. She usually dropped gifts and left. But here she was, uncloaking, in her quarters, giving her a mischievous smile.

A thought struck Shepard, one that she knew would be hard to forget: Kasumi belonged here. She did. And every time the ship left without Kasumi, it felt like... Like she was leaving a piece of herself behind.

"Hey," Kasumi said. "What's with the sudden long face?"

"Nothing. Sorry. How are you? Sorry you had to see all this."

Kasumi gave her an appraising stare. "That's a lot of sorry."

"Two, actually," Shepard replied. "I can add a third."

"That won't be necessary," Kasumi replied with a smile. "Okay give me those cookies."

Shepard held the box more tightly.

"Did you hear Joker? They're disgusting. I can't give them to you."

"But they were meant for me. So I want to try them."

"No but really-"

"Shepard. Come on."

Shepard relented. Kasumi took the box and opened it. Shepard immediately cringed looking at the cookies and how burnt they were. She had wanted them to smell and taste delicious, so that when Kasumi bit into them, they would somehow be a sufficient way of saying thank you. Thank you for being there, thank you for the gifts, thank you for thinking of me. Thank you for making things easier. Thank you for giving me hope in a desperate and depressing worldstate.

But now, they wouldn't even convey that. They would just say: I'm a burnt cookie made by a stupid cook who left me to burn in the oven.

"I'll make them again. Better."

Kasumi nodded, but she already bit into one of the cookies like it was no big deal.

"Honestly," she said after chewing in silence for a few seconds, "I think Joker is just a bit of a drama queen, you know? I've had worse."

Shepard knew her mouth was open and she looked like a moron, but it was hard not to do anything else but stare, stunned.

"Wha-"

"I mean, you should see some of the stuff they sell in the Wards. These are so much better."

"They're overcooked. They're burnt. They taste like ashes. They-"

She couldn't continue. It was too much, in a way, because the words-

They remind her of something else. Might as well not dwell into that.

"Point is: they suck."

Kasumi shook her head. "I don't think they do and I'm the gift's recipient so my word counts more than yours in this case. We're keeping these."

"We?" Shepard asked.

"Yes," Kasumi said. "We."

They looked at each other.

"But you're leaving soon," Shepard said.

She made a grimace. It sounded like a reproach, like she was chiding Kasumi for it. This wasn't at all what she wanted to do.

"Sorry," she added. "I don't mean... I mean, you're free, right? And I never want to stop you from doing-"

Kasumi moved forward and put a finger on her lips, a gesture that immediately shut her up.

"Can I kiss you?" Kasumi asked.

Shepard looked at Kasumi's finger, still on her lips.

"Now?" she asked.

The finger moved with her words, such an intimate gesture that reminded her of scenes she saw in romantic movies, but no movie could accurately portray the gesture for what it was. No. This was real life, and Shepard was scared. Scared to say the wrong words and lose Kasumi forever. It was silly of course, because she trusted Kasumi. Trusted her kindness and good heart. Knew Kasumi would not abandon her. Yet the fear was there.

Kasumi frowned. Her finger left Shepard's lips.

Shepard wanted it back, but didn't know how to tell her.

"Shepard. Are you okay?"

"I don't know," she said. "It's not easy for me."

"Was I too fast, too direct? I'm sorry. We can take it slower."

"No, no," she said. "I just. I don't want you to feel like you have to be around and I know you're going to leave in a few hours, and that's fine but-"

"I'm not leaving," Kasumi replied. "I came to stay. I wanted to tell you from the beginning but you distracted me with your cookies and then you looked so kissable, I-"

"Wait. You're staying?"

Kasumi nodded.

"I am. I thought about it, and... I already lost someone I loved, Shepard. And I'm scared. Really scared. But if there is one thing Keiji told me is that life is short. All moments are precious, all of them matter. The fear of losing you, it can't be a reason to stay away."

Shepard stared.

"I love you," Kasumi said. "I thought it was obvious but I realized listening to you talk to Joker and EDI that you didn't know... I'm sorry. I'll make sure to tell you every day for the rest of our life."

"You-"

Shepard started to smile without even realizing it. Kasumi smiled in return. She took Shepard's hand in hers.

"I think we fit."

Shepard looked at their hands. She was relieved that she wasn't shaking. Actually, she felt calm for the first time in months.

"We do," she said. "We fit."

And that was a simple truth, but one that Shepard could hold onto. Kasumi led her toward the bed and soon they were kissing, forgetting for a moment the war and the responsibilities they both had. They were still in bed when the Normandy left the Citadel.

(In the end, Kasumi did eat all the cookies, despite Shepard's protests. She insisted that they were not that bad. They were.)


End file.
